2nd Dec 2011

It’s second day of the month of December. I’m still trying to keep myself busy and trying to move on. I do admit I missed A a lot. Until today, I still have no words from his family back in Montolieu. I hope that everything went well. I knew that he’s in a better place now and I need to let him go. I knew it’s hard but I have to no matter what.

 I’m so bored at home and was wandering if there’s any plan of meeting up. Glad to know that we will have the usual get-together dinner at Bee Chiang’s Hainanese Chicken Rice in Jalan Bukit Bintang at 8pm. I did text P and reminded him that we’re supposed to meet for this dinner. Although he’s not too sure he’ll be there, I’m sure that he wanted to come. It was raining when I left the house. The road condition was so bad that I had to call P that I’ll be late, picking him up at his place. The heavy downpour seems making the road congestion worst! Thank god, P understands my situation. We were eventually late for the event but we’re still not late for the dinner. We had the roasted chicken rice. Saw M there. He was surprised that I came with P and I felt a bit guilty towards M. But what can I do. I really like both of you! The dinner was good and really suites the cold rainy night.

We then head to Havana, had some drinks and chill out for the night. When the first time we reached Havana, there were not so many people hanging out there. I supposed due to the rain, the place seems a little bit empty. A few glasses of drinks and dance to the 80’s songs would be a good start for the night. I noticed that M was a bit jealous that I was all over P. It was obvious that I do like P. I did enjoyed being around him though he seems a bit dorky but he’s funny. Maybe there’s a time I didn’t understand what he was saying at that time, I just nod my head and give him a big smile. Meeting him last Wednesday wasn’t the first time I saw and knew him. It must have been my 4^th time meeting him that Wednesday night. We’ve bumped into each other quite often but we hardly speak with one another. At the same time he was with someone and I had no intention to get close to him. And I do remember that I was at my hardest and saddest moment in my life, when we saw each other again at K's party. K the wild party girl who is so much control freak on man! I just couldn’t believe what C told me, about P’s marriage proposal to K! It’s so bizarre and weird. What have he been thinking at that time? Only God knows what. And maybe until today, he’s a bit afraid of her. I knew M like me so much. He did try and take my photos. He said I’m sexy but I said that I’m not. Wonder which part of me is the sexiest?

We call off the nights around 3am. I was too tired and drunk to drive back home the car that I went over to P’s. I’m a bit nervous, but the P was the calm ones. He’s really sweet and kind. Some side of him that I didn’t see before. We ended up spending the night together and it was great. I’ve never thought that I would be this happy after losing A. I knew deep down inside, A is happy for me I’m enjoying each and every second being in his arm. . I wish that the night won’t end just like that until my alarm broke the silence of the night.