Dear Marlene,
Do you remember that you did ask me about my relationship with your brother Alex? I will start first on how I met Alex.
It was his first time in Kuala Lumpur. He was staying with his host. His name is Leonard Bayang. He’s a petite Borneo born guy who is soft spoken and friendly host. Staying together with Alex was a French guy name Guillaume. On one fine day, I have an appointment with Guillaume that is to show him around my city, Kuala Lumpur. On last minute notice, Guillaume told me that he had another French guy who was with him, wanted to have the same tour. And guessed what? He was your brother, Alex. As promised with Guilaume, I met them in front of the famous Indian Mosque in Kuala Lumpur called Masjid Jamek. I was obviously a little bit late. The three of us then start the tour on foot. I was so excited that I didn’t notice Alex at first. I was so into being their tour guide for the day. We walked a lot until I was almost exhausted.
After all the tour and walk, we then met another Couchsurfers who are coincidently were at the Chinese Restaurant in one of the hawker street, Jalan Alor. Still, I didn’t notice Alex, but I still remember what he was wearing that day. He was wearing a hat and his was wearing his favorite ‘Le Peuple de le herb’ shirt and a short pants. He hides his face under the hat and had few conversations with others. I knew he’s a shy guy. We didn’t talk that much that day until the next Couchsurfing meeting that is on every Wednesday night. That’s the second time I saw him but at that time, I can see clearly his face. We had few chats and share some common boring travelling story and all I knew is that we instantly clicked. He was telling me that he wanted to go to the historical state of Malacca. There’s a lot of historical building from Portuguese and Dutch era in Malacca and that’s why it’s a famous tourist spot. Someday I’ll bring you to this city if you’re here. I told him that he needs to go to the island on the North part before heading to Malacca as he asked where he can find a good beach to swim.
The third time I saw him, he was wearing a short sleeve shirt. That’s when I really saw his beautiful Hanuman tattoo from Cambodia. He looks so smartly dress. Alex and I were invited to one of my friends place. She cooked for us the Thai Green Curry before we head for the clubs, for clubbing. We were so full that day which Alex actually did eat a lot to my surprise! He was eager to watch my Thai friend, Meow Meow cooks. He was curious of the recipe. I knew he’s a cook just by seeing his scars on his hand. We had a great night out. The four of us, Alex, Michael, Meow Meow and I literally were drunk that night. We were bar hoping and dancing all night long till wee hours. No offence. Alex is a terrible dancer but he can dance in a cute way with his smile. Definitely he’s taller than me! I’m happy he was having fun even though he knew that his dance was horrible and the club we were really played bad song selections. I did dance with him for awhile and we were happy. The night doesn’t end at the bar. The four of us then left the bar and went to the Middle East Restaurant where they sell shisha @ hookah. It was the first time I smoke shisha and it was with Alex. We had the best time there, spending quality time chatting and sharing stories until we didn’t realize that it was early morning and left only us at the Rooftop Café Restaurant. That was when I took a picture of the two of us together. That picture I used to put as my profile picture in FB. On that night, he was supposed to go home to his host’s place but it was too late to go back and there were no public transportation. My friend then let both of us stays at her boyfriend and her place that night. It was the first time, Alex cuddle me and it feels warm and good. We do have awesome night that I slept for less than an hour and went to work with my party dress!
The Kemensah Rainforest Jam Gathering
He was supposed to go to Malacca on the same weekend we have this big gathering for Couchsurfers but I convinced him that he has to go to this Kemensah place with me. Without hesitation, he agreed and we make plan and some preparation to go to the place. I picked him up at his place and we left to my friends place. She insisted that both of us stay at her place the night before the big event as she has no transportation on that day and I’m driving and have a car. We stayed at her place that night. As usual, Alex’s is curious on food that my friend was cooking. It was her famous ‘Pepsi Chicken’ Thai style. I forgot to tell you that Meow Meow is a Thai girl and her boyfriend, Michael is French -Laotian who lives in Paris. They prepared us two single bed mattresses for us with color theme! We slept with the smell of the chicken cooking in the pot the whole night. Both of us are so excited about the event that will took place the next day that we had little chat and cuddling the whole night before we knew both of us slept.
The next morning, we left the place and head to the party place, Kemensah. It’s just a remote place, outskirt from the city. I was looking forward to this trip into the jungle. On the way to the place that we were head, we’ll have to pass some small villages of aboriginal people who live there. After some time, we reach the destination. There are lots of small resort at the riverside and also some fishing pond. The one that we go is the one with a heater pool. The place looks a little bit wrecked but the surrounding is so serene. There’s greenery scenery everywhere. Tall trees, slimy moss and small insects including the mosquito! Glad that we can breathe oxygen rather than carbon monoxide from the vehicle fumes. We were greeted by the event committee. I saw lots of alcohol beverages and some drinks that have been chilled, including the ones we bought earlier before coming to that place .All of us were so starving. We had our lunch, the famous ‘Pepsi’ Chicken and we bought some friend rice from a restaurant on the next resort before all of us have a dip in the pool while waiting for the rest of the people to come. I lost the sense time in the jungle and finally we had our own bed, which I had to share it with who else better, Alex!
The place was lighted up by some dim lights with nearly fifty plus participants. There were special barbeque dinner and all of us started drinking from the time we reached there. Some of us, which is including me were so excited that I don’t really remember for several times I was in the water playing some volleyball games with the others. And off course not all of us knew each other very well, but we believe in the Couchsurfing spirit that everyone is the same and equal. We had so much fun in the water that some of us forgot to eat. My friend from UK, John was tuning his guitar during the evening session that I saw Alex grab a guitar and start to play some tunes. He’s talented. I wish he could perform again. I guessed by late morning, everyone was totally wasted and drunken. It was obvious to all that only Alex and I were still in the pool at 3 am! He actually dropped his camera in the pool and some guy found it on the next morning. After the pool, we went straight back to our bed and slept the whole day. It was exhausted but a good moment to remember especially during late night. There’s a couple who were still making out and had no bed left for them. Then they came to our space and tried to find some space to sleep. I heard some weird noise from them that I thought they had sex on the shack we were sleeping in! But I was wrong. I woke up the next morning seeing the guy face facing Alex’s ass! Some funny story that I will remembered for the rest of my life! All of us left the place late evening and I was hoping that Alex was happy as well and I knew he did.
Langkawi trip
I just had two of my wisdom tooth removed the day after the party at Kemensah Rainforest Jam Gathering. Finally, we bought our bus ticket to Langkawi Island the day before we left for the island. It was like a dream. I can’t believe it was only Alex and me, travelling together. Our bus was scheduled to depart from Pudu Sentral, the bus station in the city centre at 11.00pm. We met each other in the city before we bumped into another French man that we met at the Kemensah Rainforest. His name is Arnold Baribal or known as Bari. He’s from Nimes. He worked in Kuala Lumpur as a financial advisor and he was so nice that he invited both of us to his home and had some drinks. He knew that we were going to the paradise island that night. In his home that was the first time Alex kissed me! He’s being playful not to mention. I couldn’t drink any of the alcohol beverages that Bari’s gave me. Alex had all on behalf of me but he really controlled his self really well. We listen to lots of good French music. After saying goodbye to Bari, we then left his place and walk to the bus station.
In Asia, if you’re a local girl and travelling with ‘white guy’, they will surely look at you in a strange way. I’m used to that not even with ‘white guy’ but with ‘white girls’ as well. They thought I’ve changed. I don’t really mind what they think of me at that time. All that I knew, Alex and I will reach the island the next day and we’re going to have loads of fun together. I would love to bring you to this island if you’re here, Marlene. You will love it as much as Alex loves it! Throughout the journey in the bus, he was hugging me and I do remember a thing about sweet things he did. We listened to his MP3, one of the head phone is on his ear and another one on mine. We talked about music and culture differences. I do love music that he has on his MP3 playlist. It’s totally different from the music we had here. The seating in the bus is really small and he had to adjust his leg. In order for him to fit in the chair, he has to hug me. He really sleeps like a baby when I realized that he has his head on my breast. It reminded me on my little nephew. We had few stops before we finally arrived at the last bus station where we have to take the boat transfer to cross over to the island. It was early in the morning. I had no makeup on and I just had small surgery the day before! Other than that, everything seems looking good for me and Alex. We were starving that we had to a local restaurant for breakfast. After breakfast, we left the jetty to our beach, Pantai Cenang (Cenang Beach).
It was fun to know that the local thought that I was a Filipino and not local because I was communicating in English all the time. I made a call to our host once we were at the beach. It seems that he has to go to work and will only be back in another twenty minutes. I used to live in the island and had been experience surfing his couch before. We then walk to the house, put our belonging in the garage and left the place to see the beach. Alex was so excited to see the beach that he had to have a dip in the water even if he was left with his underpants! I’m on the other hand was so happy to see him happy. He was running along the shore line and all of sudden handed me his clothes. He just ran in the water with his underpants which he really did. He has his wide smile on his face once he swam in the sea. I could only take his photos from far. It was hilarious moment but at the same time I’m glad that he really loves it too much till I received a call from our host. I waited for him to get dry and put on his clothes. He feels so fresh and was smiling all the way to the breakfast place where we met our host, Deen. There’s something about his smiles that I always remembered even until today. We had a local breakfast before going back to Deen’s place. As usual, we shared the same bed. It was a beautiful day that we decided to go out after we got shower. I did bring him around and walk by the beach. It was a romantic evening walk, we were hand-in-hand walking at the road side. We had dinner together at the local restaurant and had a nice shisha and some happy juice that comes with it. We ordered the lemon and mint shisha flavor, the best. It was a windy night. We left the place and walk back home before both of us felt asleep due to exhaustion.
The next day, we had a good breakfast together that then we decided that we want to rent a motorbike. It not as cheap as in Thailand but it’s enough for both of us. We decided to explore the island the whole day and we did. We went to the famous Tanjung Rhu Beach and get ourselves wet. This is where our skin got burned really bad! It’s worth the time if it’s with Alex. On that day, we went to the cable car place near Pantai Kok but we didn’t really get to ride the cable car as it was closed. I must admit that the view from the peak of Gunung Mat Cincang is breathtaking. You can really see Thailand on the other side and some island near Malaysia’s border. There’s also the popular Seven Wells Waterfalls. For your information, this island is a legendary island due to the curse by a woman name Mahsuri centuries ago. It’s a legend but it’s real. The descendent of Mahsuri now is still alive and resides in South Thailand.
We had great time riding the motorbike that sometimes he almost forgot that we were in Asia and a former British colony. The ride was smooth, wind blowing on our face and the tree were dancing as if knew that we were happy. We were so exhausted from the ride that we decided to go and have some fruit juice near our host’s place. Alex was so tired that he slept on the chair. The sea breeze and the wind blows to our faces that we felt asleep for awhile. I had a photo snap of Alex sleeping on the chair looking like a red lobster! His skin was burning. I got to know that our host has to be in Kuala Lumpur . We had no choice but to seek a place for the next day. We were lucky that we found a cheap place near the beach. It’s like a minute walk to the beach. We had the dorm to ourselves and still we share the bed out of twelve available beds in the dorm! We get our belonging at our host’s place and left it at the dorm before we head to the beach to see the sunset. Sunset in Langkawi is so beautiful that while waiting for the sunset, we went to my friend’s café called Yellow café. Obviously the café is in yellow color! We played jingga and I coincidently met my ex-boss at that place. She met Alex and was joking with him because we never had any ‘physical contact’ for the past few weeks we met. We watched the sunset and had our dinner after that. That night, we went to the Reggae bar called Babylon, just across the street with our rum, ginger beer, lime and a bucket that we bought during the day after the nap.
This is where the story of the goats came in the picture. We were on our way back to the dorm to put the drinks in the guesthouse’s refrigerator that he saw the white big goat on a sofa looking really ‘cute’. He convinced me to take the photo of the goat and him, which I did. There were another goat on the ground but the big white goat really ‘captured’ his heart. He was sitting next to the white goat on the first picture. The second he stands up, the goat fell off the sofas and it was hilarious for me. The goat really has small feet. I couldn’t stop laughing looking at that situation on that time. Alex then helps the goat back on feet and I took the final photos of him and the goat. The smell of the place was unpleasant.
That night was a history for me. I had the most humiliating moments. I was throwing up really bad that night after I had the Rum, Ginger beer and lime drink in the bucket. The first time I throw up in the sea, the second was while I was walking towards Alex who is sitting a few meters away from the shore and final place is next to Alex! I was so ashamed of myself. I’m a bad drinker. I think I was so drunk that I really passed out and all I knew I was on the bed and Alex was there with me. That is my most memorable night with him. The best night that only both of us knew what happened after I got sober that night. J
There was one time, we felt like we need some adventure activities to do during the day. We signed up for the island hoping which includes the tour to the ‘Pregnant Maiden’ Lake, the eagle feeding and also to a private beach called Bras Basah (Wet Rice Island). On the first stop at the Pregnant Maiden Island, we had to pass thru a group of wild monkeys. This island is under the Geopark (Eco tourism). We can’t really hurt any of the animals here which were protected. To get to the lake on the island, we had to walk about 10minutes to reach to the place. It’s a natural lake and legend said that if a woman wants to get pregnant, she has to drink the water from the lake. I’ve tried that, it doesn’t work at all! J. I’m still struggling to swim but Alex sweet enough to let me ‘piggy back’ behind him with condition that I do the paddling. It was a good deal and we had a good time there. It was on the way back to the boat that my bag got snatched by the wild monkeys and we had to wait for nearly half an hour for the monkey to give back my belonging. My phone was thrown from a two story building. Thank god it’s still function after a great fall. I had a panicked attacked the time my bag was being snatched by the monkey! Alex was calm and I’m impressed that he can handle the situation. After awhile, we got back our belonging. The boat man almost left us there but luckily he waits for us. We then went to Bras Basah Island. I was still in shocked and in need of a drink. Luckily we arrived at the island and we had few drinks and swim. It was the best moment. Both of us were flirtatious to each other. It continues even after we came back from the island hoping. We did went to a private beach of a hotel just to get more privacy and a nice view if the sunset on the last night we were there. We were inseparable in a way and no matter where we go, we’ll be happily holding hands.
We left for Kuala Lumpur in the best memory ever. Thank you Alex…..
The call
I was in my bed, sleeping when I received the phone call from Micka. He was crying hysterically and I couldn’t even understand what he’s saying. All I could really hear is ‘Alex is gone’. I was calm at that moment because Alex sometimes did a prank to me. I asked Micka to calm down and I’d checked up on the real updates. To my disbelief, Alex really has gone away forever. I was at the internet café at 1am when I saw the post. I’m in shocked and suddenly tears rolling on my cheek like a waterfall. I felt the world just collapse. I wasn’t asleep that night and the night after. I couldn’t even care if I eat or not. I was so sad. I could feel the emptiness inside me. It’s the same feeling when my father passed away. I tried to be strong but I can’t. I was lucky that a few friends who knew Alex called me up and asked me on how I felt. I had a friend, who were in America called me and we spoke almost an hour. I cried so much that it made me hard to say anything. Everything reminds me of Alex. My boss at the work place knew what I’ve been through and she consoled me. Everyone was worried on my condition at that time. I cried when subject about Alex came out. To console my soul, I did the memorial service for friends that knew him before I left for India. In India, it’s just the same. I did cries. The Indian mom at the house was worried about me. I was lucky that they really care about me even I’m just a total stranger. I don’t want to upset them as it was a festive season back then.
Alex friend
You must be wondering how do I know Micka? It was Alex, at that time when he was in Thailand. He told me that his best friends will be coming to Malaysia and he wants them to meet me and I’ll be their guide as long as they are in Kuala Lumpur. When we were in Langkawi, we did open up to each other about family, friends and some personal things. Alex made a suggestion that we should meet each other for his birthday in Cambodia; meet his best friends and spending the New Year and New Year’s Eve over there. But I guessed, it’s not possible now. L
What do I see in him?
Alex is extra ordinary person for me. He’s totally different from the others that I’ve met before. He’s a shy person but when you know him more, he can be so sarcastic and at the same time a funny guy. He’s sweet, caring and a kind heart. His soul is beautiful. He loves to smile no matter what. He’ll open to you when you know him well. He never take advantage on me even when he can. He accept me as who I am not what I am. He knew more about me but it doesn’t matter to him as long as the present counts. He’s all about life. There’s no explanation. I’ll be happy if he’s happy and he knew that. He doesn’t like I cry for him. That’s for sure. I really enjoyed and had so much great time with him despite that we knew each other less than a year and not even six months!
Dear Marlene,
You’ve read what I had written. Now, you can judge our relationship. No matter what you think, I do love him till the end of time and he knew that I’ll wait for him. It’s only that in sometime before his Australia trip, he told me that he’s not the one I’m looking for. He’d rather see me happy to be with someone that can make me happy. It was exactly a month before he passed away. I don’t really remember when I start to fall for him. When his gone, I felt the emptiness in my heart and it really hurts a lot! As a sister and his family member the lost is a huge deal. I can sense that. We need to comfort each other and it will take time. I’m sure he’ll be more happier up there when he knew we really meet in person. I wish I could me all off you when he’s alive, but that’s fate that we have to accept.
God loves him so much and need him there. Due to this unfortunate event, we knew each other. There’s always a reason behind whatever happened.
I hope to you and your family especially Aurelien to be strong. I’ll always be there if you need someone to talk to. Send my regards to Aurelien too.
Just for you to know that Alex is my angel and will always be. He’s my everything that I could possibly have. I do miss him even until today. No one can replace him in my heart. I will always remember the memory that I had with him forever. It’s hard for me to let him go, but I have to. I hope to meet all of you someday, in a near future.
My hugs and kisses for all of you.
Happy Birthday, Sayang….
Bisou!
Ellyza
12.06am
30th Dec 2011
