RIP ~ 14th Oct 2011-14th Oct 2012

Dear Alex,
It's been a year since the accident. And I was wondering if you are still alive now, where would you'll be by now. Was chatting with your mom in FB and I knew that she is still sad as part of her went when you left us. I understand that feelings she had. We shared the same pain and I wonder, it will be more painful for your twin brother Aurelien to be all alone without you. I wanted to see them so badly, but I have no idea when I'll be there. Meeting them personally, visiting you Gingko Biloba tree that they plan for you...commemorate you.

Last night, I had the chance to talk to your little sister, Jacinthe. She told me that they have a picnic at the gingko tree and it's growing. Surely does. It's autumn now and will be winter soon. I am hoping that I could be there in April or maybe in June 2013. What I need to do now is book my flight ticket and do some early preparation. Last year, I almost did half way to France but I stopped in India. I'm afraid that I would be devastated and can't control my emotion. I did cried a lot, disbelief,anger and sad at the same time. I am so lucky to have friends who are really care for me, so does your family ; Alexandre  Henry Grima.

Alex,
Few weeks ago I went to the island. This time I went with a friend of mine. I wasn't that strong to go there again with images of you in every place that we've set foot before.It's also been a year after we went to the island. Things change so fast. A lot of new buildings and new mall were built nearby to the beach area. Definitely, it's not gonna look like it used to be.My friend and I went to the island hoping trip. We went to the island with lots of monkey. Remember, they took my sequined purse,phones and the small sling bags? We had to wait for the monkey to throw it and at last we left?

I was terrified and shaky but you presence make me safe. My friend and I went to that Island and guessed what..? There's no more monkey when we were there. It was a good hot fine day for island hoping.We went to the last island.I still remember my picture that you took when I went on the swing on the tree.It was a total fun!Not forgetting our picture being taken by the Russian couple. It was a romantic time in the sea. I will always have the memories of us in my heart and my mind. You will always be missed by us. It's unlucky for you to leave us that early. Just so you know that I love you always, mon cheri.

 

Must LOVE Me

After experienceing few heartbroken moments, I guessed I've learned something important this time that is
NEVER EVER TRUST A GUY 110%. Words can manipulate you, gestures can deceives you and never felt for that lies ever. Why do I say that? This is because off the incident that happened weeks before this.
I went to CH with friends for a trip and this is the first time I met Mr.C (name not to be disclosed). He was with a friend of mine and I have no other thing on him until after I got to know that he and my friend is JUST A FRIEND. I believed on that without any questions asked. After the CH trip, he kept on texting me asking if I was going to the meeting we had on the popular rooftop bar in KL. I didn't expect him to turn up. Well, I guessed he did. He was all into me. How do I knew? Gesture and where he places his hand...the smiles and staring at you...and chasing you all night long...Does that tells you something? Yea, definitely he was into me. I was in dilemma because I knew before hand that he likes my friend. Hey, I'm NOT the kind of girl who will take other girl's man, okay!..He confranted me and told me that they had nothing special.And yea, stupid of me.. I believed him. We had so much fun that night.The end of week, I had to go to Melaka to look for Mr MIA..which I failed. End up, I stayed a night in Jonker and met few friends over. Mr C called me up suddenly, told me that he's heading to Melaka and will reach there shortly, I was surprised because I think that would be the sweetest thing a guy could do to be with a girl.Another stupid mistake I make. I should have told him to just fuck off...If I knew this would be happening.

Another incident just hit me...again!..Damn..Why didn't I have luck with relationship even just for once...with guys??Is that to hard to really look for a sincere, honest,trusted loving guy for me?Are they in extinction?The only words that I usually heard from guy is,'I like you, but........'.Hemm..
I know that I'm not beautiful and I'm just a simple girl with really outgoing personality.
The story goes like this, I met him throug a friend. He's a divorcee with a teenage son and he is in his mid-4o's. I was thinking that he's the one as I've taken a lot of measure...just to get the confirmation that he is genuine of knowing me.Unfortunately, in the end...he is not.He did proposed to marry me and love me with all off his heart, but I guessed that's just the way he is. Sweet talker, deceiving and not worth of me!Let alone, I just dumped him and ignored him completely. I moved on kowing that someday I'll be meeting up with my other half which I don't know when. Only time can tell.

I just too tired to play around and having fun with guys. I can easily have anyone that I want, not boastig but that's the fact.I don't wanna be sex toy or sex symbol anymore (I think!..Just look at my humps...). I need to be settle down soon. It's not that I wanna get married tomorrow, but at least I wll have a steady, healthy relationship with someone. Definitely, half of my heart lost when Alex leave me. It has been a year,since he's gone.No one can ever replace him. Now, I just crossed my fingers that I'll have my own other half. Enough say, just let the flow take me to the land of promising.